this is my world and my life, no one understands..

start anew

Thursday, February 28, 2008 2/28/2008 05:45:00 AM

yeah, i changed my blogskin again
and i only took around 3hrs to do it
probably has been doing it so many times until i'm quite used to it
but then..
now it doesn't look too emo :D
any ideas on how to make it look better?

haha don't really know what to post now
so i decided to post my psychology video
something which i looked so gay in it.

heavy thoughts for the holiday

Monday, February 25, 2008 2/25/2008 06:41:00 PM

yeah, it's been a boring day at home.
supposed to study for tml oopg exam
but i'm having a terrible headache
so practically stone around at home for the whole day
surprisingly i woke up at 12 today
whne i slept at 7 in the morning
it is very weird, i was playing game and felt really tired
but whenever i try to sleep, i really can't
okay, after tml exam, i guess it will be the start of my holidays
and i really got nothing to do
maybe i will go and work? but then i'm really having second thoughts about it
maybe i will make all the plans to meet every single one
and hopefully there will be a class chalet
2e1, 4e2 and my poly
like that then i'm really glad
it beats having to think of what to do everyday the first thing that i open my eyes

my eyes are so puff up
i guess because of the effects of yesterday
but at least i'm perfectly fine now.

the reason

Sunday, February 24, 2008 2/24/2008 03:01:00 AM

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

sad life

Saturday, February 23, 2008 2/23/2008 03:56:00 PM

ahh, at least i'm feeling much better alreadya
after resting for so long
and MHF2 with grace

woke up with a splitting headache
the whole seems to dance in front of me
and i went to play soccer in the hot blazing sun
i swear my heart nearly stop beating at one point
when i couldn't take it anymore
i just collaspe and lied on the floor
stars began to appear.. wow
the aftermath of yesterday

i went to toilet, and i started to vomit
really, it continues and continues
until i really ran out of water.
nvm.. i must learn to accept this
learn to handle all things myself and not rely on anyone
brb
incoming another series of vomit!

go to sleep

2/23/2008 05:28:00 AM

yeah, i came back at 3. bathe and all till 3.30am
from that time till now, i lay on bed
trying my best to fall asleep but i really can't
all my mind could think was where did i went wrong
this time, i really doubt so.
am i too much to ask for that only?
i really don't know
anyway have soccer at 10am later
really so dead
and most likely spending the entire day with danial
then evening time playing soccer again
if that's possibly

unless something change
someone, that someone i willing to stop everything that i'm doing
just to get to meet up
even though what happen
my heart still long for you

good night philip
please go to sleep, you know that you are extremely tired
but why won't your mind stop functioning

one sheep, two sheep, three sheep
zzzZZZZ
yeah right...

Friday, February 22, 2008 2/22/2008 12:50:00 AM

This whole week has been a boring week for me
it's the study week and all that i study is.... mahjong
anyway, receive a stupid phone call from my teacher saying that
she couldn't find my ides cd and sketchbook.
and she told me that i will definitely fail without this items.
WTF right. i have already pass up the fucking damn work and you tell me that
and i told you i could bring it down and hand it again.
"oh, you already pass the deadline, so i can't collect any work anymore."
eh wtf, not say i did not hand it right? i really think that it is you that lost my work
and i'm going to fail because of that?
fuck it, just fail it.. i really don't care
i've already hate my life anyway

if i were to collaspe one day
will you be there for me?

i am so depressed now
can you even... haiz nvm
it has already been like that

the irony of certain things
when you take a look at them
you can't help but just laugh
even though it's not even funny
why are some things happening in this way
there will be no answer for these questions

'what is your purpose of actually being here in this world'
never will i be able to answer this question
but until now, not one, and i really mean not even one
really understand how i feel
after so long, having the number of people around me
probably that sense of having friends
but who actually can always be there for you?
not always your friends, they have their life
your family? my father?
that will probably be when it's the end of the world
my mother? somehow, maybe only her but then not always
siblings? every single one have their own matters
and the last one, i thought that this could be answer
but she probably have more things to worry about then me
i still feel so distant to her, like there so much about her
when she is still hiding some emotion from me,
that line, i will never ever get past it.
so i just sum up everything
in conclusion, none..

the questions that i asked
i really want an answer

a day of three3rd

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 2/12/2008 01:20:00 AM

i think that sometimes i expect too much
my expectation level is way over the limit
thus it only brings more sadness and hurt
Surely certain things won't always be so perfect

the question now that i ponder
why am i always contradicting myself
hypocracy is all i see when i stand in front of the mirror
self-centered, i guess that is what may be

i want everything so perfect for myself
Easily a slight difference will show oneself
so much for happily ever after
can't this two ever co-exist?

As time flies by, it can already be seen
slowly and steady, you will be the one
i promise...

i'm feeling so damn tired
it feels so weird not hearing your voice
especially on this day
i expected something to happen
it turn out that it was just my wishful thinking
i'm currently typing with my eyes close
good night. Sweet dreams

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