adam
adrian
ahbao
alicia
barnabas
dad
danial
devon
grace
huiying
jerry
melvyn slut
ming(:
piyathip
royston
sharlyn
shavonne
sheryl
shirley
victoria

recently

zombie
一人晚餐
yawns!
the difficulty
The revival of a blog
Notice
day without her - 72
day without her - 70
day without her - 69
day without her - 56

months

August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
November 2008
December 2008

super worn out
gym + assignments + ??? = dead
i'm so not looking forward to Chinese New Year

i miss you...

okay, enough of those episode titles, was just having some fun with it. :)
anyway, it has been such a hectic time for me this week
rushed through oopg assignment, ides beta and having cmath test
at least i had a breather before this continues, bcuz all these are driving me nuts
on friday, spent the entire evening to night at home, was supposed to go for movie?
but i just felt that it was just too tiring? however, it was really quality time spent (:

then slept till 2pm on saturday, was suppose to sleep till evening before choir practice
my brother just have to wake me up
first he took my phone to send songs to his phone
not mentioning his message ringtone that was preventing me to have my beauty sleep
next, he took my psp and tried to figure something
bcuz someone changed my settings and then i couldn play MHF2 with him
at the end, i figured it out after i woke up. haha

yeah, choir practice was the same, only we did some 'factory work'
which i got a papercut on my finger in the process
after choir prac, brother came down with suat to fetch dan, vic and i
yeah, we went to a bar (which i forgot the name) at marina square
we were meeting daryl before he went to thailand for his army
so yeah, dint have this kind of thing for quite a while

both the girls had to go home early so we left at about 12
after fetching everyone home, bro and i went to 201
ate the maggi goreng, which was so spicy
so freaking weird, so i did not quite enjoy my meal, damn sad

the answer to that question
i love her because she is the best
she is everything that i want
and i'm sure no one is able to do what she did

i'm officially dying of stress, stress from all the assignments that are due this week
not mentioning it had been sucha emotional time for me last week
oh ya, a special thanks to all who accompany me during this period
and also to those comments received, it really helped! (:
and and, a few days ago, a cute one has joined the family
and her name is coco, a fully black dog
she is so adorable, haha i guess it's only 5months old?
don't worry coral, you're not forgotten

i guess the lack of sleep had made me so emotional
and that is so bad
because i looked at thing at only the negative perspective
and the more i think, the shittier i feel
someone told me that i looked thinner?
omgosh la, that is bad bad bad
i will start my gyming soooooon
maybe after this week. =X

let us just forget it
i'm also too tired to continue

yeah, i'm somehow quite similar to my father
i've even inherited one of his genes
a really bad one
today when i took my mother's phone to read her message
i seriously saw such a disgusting side of my father
lets not talk about how unreasonable he can really be
but then, what he said in the message
was really.. haizz it's too bad for me to describe
scolding, saying how badly my mother brought us up
say we always use his money, say as though my mother ain't working
don't touch anything of his, especially his money
he want to see how we survive without him
such a 'great' role model we have there
one of the best thing he loves to do
blaming the whole damn world except himself
eh? so it's only your wife's responsibility to take care of us and not yours?
you're not the only one that is earning the money
you don't want us to touch your money?
then why even decide to start this family?
you don't want us to spend your money? go ahead take it!
i can even give you my life, just take it to your grave
i really don't give a shit
divorce? you really want?
seriously, i've been waiting for this day for very long already
if this word can come out of your mouth so easily, then i guess it doesn't mean much to you
so who cares? Us, the siblings tried really hard to patch up our differences
so as to keep the family together
but this family will never find peace, or family love
if you continue to think of your old days
how your father thrash all of you.
and i not knowingly following in your footsteps
i really hate myself, argh
at least, i sincerely regretted saying some things that hurt some others
haiz, i really wasted my time talking about him

i still have my oopg assignment to do
need to pass it up by tomorrow
and i haven't even start
i'm too tired to start it now
haven't catch a wink since yesterday till now
maybe later i would wake up at 10pm to do it
i hate that feeling, doing work late at night alone
and you know there is no one there for you in this situation

on the chair under the twinkling little stars
had already a few cups of whisky to forget about everything
in my hand was another cup of martini
if only i could be like the rest
and reach that zone where everything seems to fly
maybe all the troubles would just disappear for awhile
i am hopeless
hopeless as being a person
nothing work out yesterday
so much for being a day i look forward for a long time
the wait felt like a 100years
all i wanted. i thought about was just to help
help you take your mind off the things that trouble you
was that so difficult?
you did much for me, i thought maybe i could do something to please you
the plan backfired and became something really ugly
why everything that i planned
with a good heart and mind
turns out like it is nothing
after what i planned last time before that fateful day
i received a big present, something which affected my life greatly
something which changed me
into someone i am now
i'm just so scared of that to happen again
but i just wanted you to smile
and leave behind everything
if that really hurt you, i will never do it again
why not i just be on a stand-by
anytime you want, just call me
call me when you're not that tired
seriously i find myself trying so hard in everything
but i guess i'm not being smart
all that i working towards were totally wrong
i'm really tired
tired of trying to make you see things from my point
if you want to forget about it
then so be it
so you won't get hurt
i prefer to be the only one getting hurt then both of us

As raindrops fall hard on us, flashes of light was seen. The cat had been let out of the bag, the two most feared one for the truth to be known to, had found out. And for those who still don't know, i was found smoking. yeah i smoke. At a loss of words now, i'm just prepared for the worst. But i guessed it's time to stop that habit too, seriously too harmful to me. major emotional breakdown, and all that could come out from my mouth was full of shit. But after talking it out, i still don't feel better. Only more relief that i don't have to hide the truth from anyone now. Indeed, i felt really bad lying to them. Everything i guessed really came true, maybe for the better. Now lets see, i shall live life one step at a time.
just what a man you are, you're the one who find your son in this state. But then you go around blaming every single one except yourself. So what if you are earning the money, your wife is also doing the same thing, but then she don't go complaining to you. When did you ever show concern to me? probably in your eyes i was just someone for you to vent your anger out, youngest... bullshit. running into the balcony door, then blaming the door for being transparent. just admit the damn fact that you are old, and you can't see it. don't make such a big fuss over it, trying to announce to the whole world that it's ain't your fault. you can't change yourself? yeah, that will probably be the downfall of the family. yeah i'm apologetic to both of you, however i don't feel good feeling that way for you. because somehow i growing to hate you.
yeah, i lost my mood to study. my grades just go sliding down. fuckit, i said it before, i say it again, no one will understand me unless you were in my shoes before. okay, im not blaming my life for the grades, but i'm just plain lazy. i'm going to be a good for nothing person. wonderful

thoughts keep flowing through my mind, a reasonable answer and explanation was supposed to be found. I'm not in the mood now to be thinking already, because currently i just need your support. i'm feeling so terrible now, having all kinds of mix feelings. God, please save me now. probably take me together with you

it has been a long time since i went through a really long day in school
and with the amount of work that are stacking up
in additional to the results of some subjects
i realise i am currently under a tremendous amount of pressure
not to mention stress too
the pace of life, is really too quick for me to catch up
my world feels like there is a fast forward button being turn on
quicker even then the blink of an eye
both physically and mentally tired
i just finished my MMP1 work
mayb left with a few more examples for the umbrella thing
but i just don't have that motivation to carry on
i felt like calling someone, to give me that spur to carry on
but i guess i rather not disturb anyone now
or mayb anytime in the day
well, this is my life
i decided to deal with any difficulty that i'm facing alone
rather then being a burden to anyone

but the fact is, i'm just so tired
probably not used to it
i will handle this alone
i know i can..

school had already reopen
did some last minute work for psychology project video
oh gosh, i really look so eewww in the video
but had great fun with both the sworn brothers doing the video
wasn't the best saturday i had
spent the whole day sleeping, plus some trouble
was feeling really down how saturday ended
as usual, did not have enough rest before i could start sunday off
but i was the first to reach church (:
and sang one of my favourite psalm
and then the routine goes on
another boring sunday night
typing this oh so boring post

yeah, all those personal feelings
it's going to be restricted just for myself
it's time for a change for the new year

still, i do not understand you

If you love someone you say it
you say it right then
out loud

yeah it is a new year
and life continues as per normal
glum faces shown as school reopens
but before all those negative thoughts about school
at least i enjoyed the countdown of the new year
probably the best one in my life
we went to vivo city
which is already so packed even at 7pm
people were already waiting at their spots for midnight
there was even one couple that we saw that brought their laptop
after our movie we actually saw them watching some show on their laptop
embarrassed with my fellow singaporeans
but was just quite impressed with the laptop's battery XD
anyway, we did the countdown
watching the fireworks
and being oh so hyper trying to get a cab
in short, it was a great night out :)

not surprising, there is another family problem again
was already expecting something like this to happen
but dint know that it was so soon
anyway, it is not much my problem anymore
like what i did on 31st dec, i just went out of the house
while all of them were quarrelling
in this new year, i've decided that their problem is none of my business
because no matter what, it's useless
so yeah, i will just hang out with them when there is fun
will post up the pics taken in msia next time

school starting in 5hours time
fortunately it's only 3hours, but it's freaking early (8am)
oops sorry, i know that you have to wake up at 5.30am =X
okay, hope all of you guys that are starting school
hope it will be a great day awaiting you all~
and have fun =)