episode 6
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
1/09/2008 12:54:00 AM
As raindrops fall hard on us, flashes of light was seen. The cat had been let out of the bag, the two most feared one for the truth to be known to, had found out. And for those who still don't know, i was found smoking. yeah i smoke. At a loss of words now, i'm just prepared for the worst. But i guessed it's time to stop that habit too, seriously too harmful to me. major emotional breakdown, and all that could come out from my mouth was full of shit. But after talking it out, i still don't feel better. Only more relief that i don't have to hide the truth from anyone now. Indeed, i felt really bad lying to them. Everything i guessed really came true, maybe for the better. Now lets see, i shall live life one step at a time.
just what a man you are, you're the one who find your son in this state. But then you go around blaming every single one except yourself. So what if you are earning the money, your wife is also doing the same thing, but then she don't go complaining to you. When did you ever show concern to me? probably in your eyes i was just someone for you to vent your anger out, youngest... bullshit. running into the balcony door, then blaming the door for being transparent. just admit the damn fact that you are old, and you can't see it. don't make such a big fuss over it, trying to announce to the whole world that it's ain't your fault. you can't change yourself? yeah, that will probably be the downfall of the family. yeah i'm apologetic to both of you, however i don't feel good feeling that way for you. because somehow i growing to hate you.
yeah, i lost my mood to study. my grades just go sliding down. fuckit, i said it before, i say it again, no one will understand me unless you were in my shoes before. okay, im not blaming my life for the grades, but i'm just plain lazy. i'm going to be a good for nothing person. wonderful
thoughts keep flowing through my mind, a reasonable answer and explanation was supposed to be found. I'm not in the mood now to be thinking already, because currently i just need your support. i'm feeling so terrible now, having all kinds of mix feelings. God, please save me now. probably take me together with you
